Dear Ol' UVA...

I needed some time to compile my thoughts and comments from my recent Homecoming visit to UVa - so for those of you who were looking for it. Here it is.
Homecoming weekend at Uva... Driving down I-95 onto Alderman, guided by the giant V and two sabers inked into the road we entered a place we called home for four years. It felt as though we entered a bubble. It was a cultural capsule where it seemed nothing had changed and yet coming from out of town, there was a solemn cloud that followed us, a gentle reminder that this wasn't the real world. It's clear after being in the workplace for two years, UVa was a utopia. You don't really have to deal with adult issues, all of the rent/utilities/billing were spoon fed to you, none of your interactions were multi-level (i.e. work relationships), people can wear cowboy boots and dresses and it's more of a dress code than a fashion faux-pas; oh and singing the Good Ol' Song made everyone feel like one happy community. No wonder we feel duped...I'm not the only person that looked blankly at a fax machine or another esoteric office tool and thought: why didn't I take a class for this? That's what we need a "Real Life 101" that teaches you how to: deal with taxes, office politics, weird roommates, missing landlords, rental agreements, real crime that can't be solved with the honor code... and the list goes on.
I can't decide if the shielding of the real world from the current Wahoos is just an extension of their childhood or the set up for the first of many rude awakenings they will experience in adulthood. For example: at UVa you can feasibly, work, party, study, eat healthy, stay fit, and get enough sleep to do it all again the next day. Guess what? In the real world the routine is sacrificed for things that are considered survival tactics - eating whatever you can find, sleeping when you can, and working for food and shelter. When we were on the Range before the football game, you could still see the flicker of innocence in the eyes of the undergrads, an age of believing and where ignorance is bliss.
It was a great weekend, but returning to grounds and looking at versions of myself pre-real world, was bittersweet. On one hand UVa is now a place we can never go back to without bringing in bias, on the other hand it was a nice reset button to know that in a world that is constantly changing there are some consistencies.

Return On Investments, relationship style

In business the ever-popular term Return On Investment (ROI) is almost always used in a question: What is my ROI with XYZ...?
When I hear this commonly over-used work abbreviation it makes me wonder, why shouldn't we evaluate our relationships on the same scale?
We all know you have to "put in work" when starting a relationship, but what if you put in too much and the relationship fails? Or what if you don't put in enough and your growth is minimized? OK, maybe I have work on the brain, but let me put this in context - AKA a story!

I have a friend; she's smart, successfully, cute, kind, and a little quiet. She carried on a relationship with a seemingly interesting male for several months. Time investment. She compromised her better judgment by engaging in late night meet ups. Investing in opportunities. She spent time ruminating and contemplating over each mixed signal, always hoping and considering the best-case scenario and ignoring the red flags. Bad investment... So when this not so awesome male figure ended up admitting to still being involved in a serious relationship with an old girlfriend and deemed himself emotionally unavailable, but anxious to keep her on his team, the relationship bank officially ruled: no growth or opportunity in this relationship, negative return on investment.
So what happens when you put in all this work and no benefits come of it? Is it no wonder relationships have transformed from courting to dating to sexting? Know what you're in for is today's mentality and it's all for the sake of saving your investment and energy for one person who really deserves it.  And no, this isn't something my friend expressed, these are situations that happen to everyone and unfortunately (or fortunately) the longer you are with someone leads you to a similar logical question of value or ROI: "is s/he worth it?". From a relationship perspective, begs a deeper answer from the heart and mind coming together to form a conscious decision. Often, the positive or negative answer to: if I give my all-will you be the one I love?
Similar to what I advised my friend, anyone who you feel is taking more than they can give is on the bottom part of the worth scale. Anyone that can try and make you feel less than YOU are worth doesn't deserve any investment, time- opportunity or quality. However, I do believe, there is a tendency to test to true value of a relationship. And there, comes a point in any relationships when we have to stop testing the worth and appreciate the value-otherwise you spend all your time analyzing the investment and never enjoying the benefits.