The Strength to Endure: Boston

News is breaking about the suspects in the Boston Marathon bombing. I can't even imagine what that day was like for those runners. I've run four marathons and preparing for my fifth this summer. Let me tell you running 26.2 miles is tough, like really hard - not to mention at Boston when you have to keep a certain pace to finish within your qualifying time. I'm not saying that to brag (ps haven't run Boston), I'm giving you some perspective. These people are probably sprinting 26.2 miles. People say the stress of running a marathon is equivalent to the stress of giving birth. People talk about endurance - withstanding hardship - a marathon is that and you're tired. It's like you get to mile 20 and you think "I'm almost there," but your legs feel like cement and your body is in this constant motion begging yo
u to stop and keep going at the same time. After mile 22 if you pause at all your body doesn't want to start back up. You start to think irrational things like your arm might fall off or you'll fall over a crack in the road because you're not lifting your knees as high. Then you see the finish line - the end in sight...
And for some that moment was stolen. For more than 30,000 people running will never be the same. The relief of finishing an exhilarating race such as the Boston marathon is forever marred by a selfish act. You take a race that makes you feel invincible and tarnish it with destruction.
After Monday's news broke, I had friends and family members asking me if I was okay -- me -- I wasn't even there, I was thought to myself. Their sentiment was "well you're a runner..." and that was it. My family and friends revealed a small piece of evidence that has now permanently connected me to possibly millions of people in this world. And I did feel sad, devastated even for them, but I still can't imagine what that was like. As runners, we can only fathom the level of heartbreak something like this could create. It's kind of like when people say, "I feel you." I could literally feel the hurt of all those runners and people there to support them, but I can't know what that actually feels like.
As a runner I understand the physical exhaustion that probably set in as those runners neared the finish line and they were so tired they probably couldn't even cry; or more so I know there were some that cried hours later once there bodies finally slowed to a resting rhythm and their breath evened. I know that for some running will be a triumph shouldering the adversity of those that can't run anymore. Then there will be others who will fear running because on that day the spirit of endurance was stolen from them.
Running has always been the showcase of strength and character paired with determination and will power. This combination of features created by the heart propels you forward and ignores rules of impossibility and weakness. While, what running means might be similar for most, the reason to run will be different for everyone. But isn't it something to think that for one day, April 15th, everyone who runs will be running for the same reason? It's hard to see it now, but maybe this day in the future will create something that brings us closer together - as runners, a stereotypical steadfast community in practice who push forward through adversity and hurt and pain and we will make it out to run that day. If for nothing else to show you how good we are at enduring a challenge and to keep a promise that we will run again.

High School Drama

Dear Readers. This post serves as a plea to share, comment and post to those who need to read this.
I'm seven years out of high school and it's one place/time I would not like to repeat. Even with all my learnings high school was tough, but no matter how dramatic I became as I cried, "my life is over"  - I still woke up in the morning. Unfortunately, for three Chardon, Ohio students this is not the case. My thoughts and prayers go out to the Chardon families - it's an unimaginable tragedy, that for me as well hit really close to home.
For some perspective, I grew up about 45 minutes away from Chardon, but my parents now live about 5 minutes away -- they grocery shop, run errands, walk our dog in the same county. My brother was one year and one township away from attending Chardon, he could've been there...
There have been so many things in the news this last few weeks about teens acting out (the racist YouTube girls from Florida, for example), or even the last few years (school bullying) and it's amazing to me how different "high school" has become - it's really turning into a place you need to survive.
In my day (there goes my old soul) I did become an outcast and subject of ridicule for a good three months of my high school career, where in my most dramatic way I literally thought I would die of embarrassment. Here's the story.
Eleventh grade - I was going through a period of rebellion, hanging out with the a new crowd that I absolutely didn't fit in with. Picture a darker Hilary from Fresh Prince attempting to hang out with a female version of Bone Thugs 'n' Harmony ... Yea, that was bound to work out.
Anyway, if you made one of these girls mad they were all mad and I should've know then their value of friendship, but I digress... Inevitably as you can guess I made one of these girls mad and that's when the drama started. I was shunned at school, literally had to eat lunch by myself or skip it altogether and go home to eat, I was nervous to be in the hallway by myself, it got pretty bad. The biggest worry I had was that these girls would do something to damage or impact my future or mess with my early acceptance into college.
So I get it. I get what it's like to be bullied, picked on, and intimidated. One thing I never forgot was to stay motivated and that no matter what I was going to graduate, succeed and pursue any and all dreams that I had. So this message is two-fold, if you are bullying, it's not worth it - when you get to the workplace, there are bigger bullies that actually have leverage, or as bullies typically wind up: your high school wanna be thug life image will soon be merged with your real life, and while everyone around you is changing, you become static.

If you are being bullied, I can promise you, your insecurities don't run as deep as whoever is trying to stand in your way. I can't remember the last time I thought about that memory of feeling so alone and isolated and that's because I did so much more to never sink and stay persistent with my goals. I'm not perfect, no one is, but one thing I've learned is that "strength comes from an indomitable will" (Ghandi) and that is something you have to believe to make it through.
 High school is 6 parts a painful and 4 parts fun, you make mistakes, some people hang out with bone thug wannabes, but you grow up and you move on. Thank goodness because I do not look good in corn-rolls!

Thick skin, hard heart, but a straw can break ya.

Does anyone believe in karma? Or do some people just have bad luck? It’s a topic disputed by most – and resolved by no one. Adults, children, friends are all people I’ve heard ask the same question “hey – didn’t God create sin?” No people. Our ancestors did when they ate the apple – free will blocks you from truly doing what’s good, because it gives you the choice not to, and most people choose the latter.

So is it the bad people that do these things to good people? Think about it… if something really terrible happens to you, who is to blame? Are you to blame for not preventing it? Or maybe it was a lapse in judgment, or trusting someone a little too much?

Someone close to me has been completely slighted by almost every one she trusted and she is certainly unworthy of it. When she tells me her latest story she typically ends them with: "don't piss on me and tell me it's raining!" Every day she deals with the emotional rebuild and conflicts of interests as she puts her life back together. Can you imagine day after day, putting your best foot forward, but secretly feeling like a stack of blocks built too high and just waiting for a slight tremor in the ground to break you apart? She knows the feeling of the phrase: “the straw that broke the camel’s back” because she has a stack of hay sitting tall and piece after piece gets added with more surprises and more distractions. But what can you do? You can’t take on her weight of the world or weight of the straw (just to keep the analogy going) and you certainly don’t care to be in her shoes. So all you can do is hope things will get better and pray… and that’s all she does too.

I think about her on my long runs and what if any thing I can do. But then I also look at the countless people I pass and wonder, “What’s her story?” Like on the train, when you see people crying do you ever wonder, “What the heck happen that was so terrible you couldn’t wait to go home to cry?” I’ll tell you – that damn straw just broke someone’s back. For the most part I don’t think people are weak, I think it takes a lot to break someone down… and even the strongest can be broken. And when they fall they fall hard.

But I’ll tell you something else, if you break down someone strong be ready for the rebuild – bigger, stronger, better than ever. And if you thought it took a lot to break them before, beware my dear reader, of the product you'll get after the rebuild.