"Be with me when I grow up"

A page from a young lover's diary:

All I want is to grow up. I don't want to dream, I don't want to love. I want to be logical and purposeful with each action that I make. I want to be responsible for my actions and I want to fall out of love and I would like every relationship to be filled with nothing but mutual consideration.

I want to be older. I want time to stand still and propel me forward so I don't have to act like a child and relish in my naivety. I don't want to see you as you. I want to have wisdom and I want to feel like I've done it all before. I never want to be scared, I want my nightmares to bring insight and I want my tears to come with joy. I don't want heart ache.

I want to be selfish. I want to earn that sense of entitlement that only comes with age. I want to feel like regret is not an option and that every action has an equal and opposite reaction... I don't want to feel indifferent.

As a matter of fact I want him to feel the opposite of everything that I want.

I want him to be young forever. I want him to dream of me and love me all over again - but since I am old I will not see how perfect we make each other. But he'll regret and he'll cry because he feels pain. I don't want that.

I know none of this will happen. I know we'll have to grow up together. I will ask him to and he'll say yes. And I'll stay as I am. I'll make choices without knowing the outcome and I'll choose to love him because that's all I want. And I'll ask him this: "be with me when I grow up and love me when I'm old so I can always be a child and love you for you".