So I recently had a conversation with someone, (this party shall remain nameless), and this person claims, "a relationship is like the NBA franchise, men are the owners and women are GMs -- responsible for the day to day operations." Now, one might imagine if this came from my boyfriend that I would freak out, announce that I refused to be considered a back seat driver in our relationship and hang up. But I didn't. I had an epiphany, a light bulb moment, an 'ah ha!' moment. I felt everything go quiet around me, the lights seemed to be brighter and all was crystal clear -- ladies, WE run this!
Think about it ladies, while your man is going on and on about "wearing the big drawers" you GAVE him that sense of empowerment. Well some of us do... and in my expert opinion of being a woman, there are three types of women.
Woman number 1: the passive agressive, push over who definitely makes her man feel like a man because she has completely and utterly consumed herself with him. Not only does he feel like a man but he is numero uno in the relationship - no shared responsibility here. She's not weak (I hate this word), she's insecure, easily influenced and cares more about pleasing her man than herself or other important relationships. These women have sacrificed friendship, family members, and themselves for the false sense of security. Consequently, the men that attract these women are crazy in their own special way. They will stay with these women because they KNOW there are not very many other women around that will stand for being pushed around.
Woman number 2: the arrogant, 'I'm more woman than he will ever be man' type. These women are strong, likely successful, high expectations -- (reader, please note I did not use the word standards). These women are their own worse enemy. Because they deem themselves successful, they become their own standard; thus making ANYONE appear lackluster compared to them. Now, in regards to their expectations, they expect the world but refuse to give them the world in return. And here is the really confusing part, they expect to be taken care of (catered to etc.) but don't want to be. They want all the credit and the glory with none of the other person involved. So how are these women suppose to ever meet someone?
Woman number 3: THE woman. She's smart, sometimes tricky and only deceiving when necessary. She makes her man feel empowered, but holds all the keys (this is the woman in my undisclosed conversation). The real difference is she's the happy medium between these other women. She knows when to be a push over BUT knows how to stand her ground. She has her own faults, but admist all her craziness she can still be loved. Most importantly, she believes in pink... Pink, is the ever present little girl inside these women that wants her to be satisfied. Pink is happy, plain and simple. Pink is the romantic, magical illusion of love and life. I'll be honest, Pink is not realistic, but it's a belief and it keeps these women going and loving and enjoying life. Women who believe in Pink, are comfortable enough with themselves to be in a successful relationship.
I believe in Pink.
So now readers, what do you think? These women are pretty distinct, many women fall into number 3, but there are a few souls that are definitively categories 1 or 2. And to the men out there -- we might let you be the owner, but, know this - you don't have a franchise without us. Furthermore, if you get another GM she might run your team right into the ground. Happy Courting :)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Thick skin, hard heart, but a straw can break ya.
Does anyone believe in karma? Or do some people just have bad luck? It’s a topic disputed by most – and resolved by no one. Adults, children, friends are all people I’ve heard ask the same question “hey – didn’t God create sin?” No people. Our ancestors did when they ate the apple – free will blocks you from truly doing what’s good, because it gives you the choice not to, and most people choose the latter.
So is it the bad people that do these things to good people? Think about it… if something really terrible happens to you, who is to blame? Are you to blame for not preventing it? Or maybe it was a lapse in judgment, or trusting someone a little too much?
Someone close to me has been completely slighted by almost every one she trusted and she is certainly unworthy of it. When she tells me her latest story she typically ends them with: "don't piss on me and tell me it's raining!" Every day she deals with the emotional rebuild and conflicts of interests as she puts her life back together. Can you imagine day after day, putting your best foot forward, but secretly feeling like a stack of blocks built too high and just waiting for a slight tremor in the ground to break you apart? She knows the feeling of the phrase: “the straw that broke the camel’s back” because she has a stack of hay sitting tall and piece after piece gets added with more surprises and more distractions. But what can you do? You can’t take on her weight of the world or weight of the straw (just to keep the analogy going) and you certainly don’t care to be in her shoes. So all you can do is hope things will get better and pray… and that’s all she does too.
I think about her on my long runs and what if any thing I can do. But then I also look at the countless people I pass and wonder, “What’s her story?” Like on the train, when you see people crying do you ever wonder, “What the heck happen that was so terrible you couldn’t wait to go home to cry?” I’ll tell you – that damn straw just broke someone’s back. For the most part I don’t think people are weak, I think it takes a lot to break someone down… and even the strongest can be broken. And when they fall they fall hard.
But I’ll tell you something else, if you break down someone strong be ready for the rebuild – bigger, stronger, better than ever. And if you thought it took a lot to break them before, beware my dear reader, of the product you'll get after the rebuild.
So is it the bad people that do these things to good people? Think about it… if something really terrible happens to you, who is to blame? Are you to blame for not preventing it? Or maybe it was a lapse in judgment, or trusting someone a little too much?
Someone close to me has been completely slighted by almost every one she trusted and she is certainly unworthy of it. When she tells me her latest story she typically ends them with: "don't piss on me and tell me it's raining!" Every day she deals with the emotional rebuild and conflicts of interests as she puts her life back together. Can you imagine day after day, putting your best foot forward, but secretly feeling like a stack of blocks built too high and just waiting for a slight tremor in the ground to break you apart? She knows the feeling of the phrase: “the straw that broke the camel’s back” because she has a stack of hay sitting tall and piece after piece gets added with more surprises and more distractions. But what can you do? You can’t take on her weight of the world or weight of the straw (just to keep the analogy going) and you certainly don’t care to be in her shoes. So all you can do is hope things will get better and pray… and that’s all she does too.
I think about her on my long runs and what if any thing I can do. But then I also look at the countless people I pass and wonder, “What’s her story?” Like on the train, when you see people crying do you ever wonder, “What the heck happen that was so terrible you couldn’t wait to go home to cry?” I’ll tell you – that damn straw just broke someone’s back. For the most part I don’t think people are weak, I think it takes a lot to break someone down… and even the strongest can be broken. And when they fall they fall hard.
But I’ll tell you something else, if you break down someone strong be ready for the rebuild – bigger, stronger, better than ever. And if you thought it took a lot to break them before, beware my dear reader, of the product you'll get after the rebuild.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Thou Shall Not Steal…
I often think if I lived during the olden days, I would be a proponent of the law: if you steal you lose a hand. I admit living in New York City, I feel very blessed that I haven’t been mugged. Moreover, I keep thinking of the idea that maybe people steal little things because they really cannot afford to pay for it themselves. Now I’ll admit I’m not completely innocent. Sure I’ve eaten grapes or cookies in the grocery store, or stealing a pair of my boyfriend’s socks (this is more of an “unknown taking” I like to think). I remember pretending I was asleep on the New Jersey Transit to get out of showing my ticket. One could say – I stole a free ride to Jersey. (I would argue that the NJT didn’t need that one $5.50 since their employees make upwards of 6 figures WITH benefits). Needless to say I felt bad and plan to confess the next time I’m in for reconciliation.
ANYHOO – stealing. Not ok. I’ll get to the point. I recently purchased razor blades for my Intuition razor (which if you buy these you know they are a pretty penny) and they come in packs of 4 refills. I immediately installed 1 into my razor and when I was in the shower the next day I noticed I only had 2 left. NOW, here’s the clincher – there is only one other person that I live with that shaves with these razors. So I’ve decided it’s either 1 of 2 scenarios. Firstly, I have a magical little fairy that steals razors so she can shave her hairy little legs OR my roommate has stolen my razor. Does she deserve to have her hand cut off? Yes… but not for that reason (fyi: she has increasingly made my life difficult with her antics). I do think she should have to pay me for the $2.87 (unit price of the razor blade) for its replacement.
While we’re playing this game of ‘who stole the cookie from the cookie jar’ (the ghettofied, Intuition Razor blade edition) I would like to eliminate the other suspects… Kitty: 13- year young, grey and white tabby, who both sleeps all day and lacks thumbs to do the deed. Roommate Number 2: who uses a Venus razor blade – and also has not been known to steal. Roommate Number 3: Venus razor blade user as well and understands my boundaries with borrowing and sharing personal items. All suspects have been questioned and none have recently posted an Intuition razor blade on ebay.com. Now that I’ve proven this first roommate is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt, what do I do?
And here is where my question comes in. Do I approach her with this accusation and ask for my $2.87 or razor blade replacement? Should I let this go – and say, “maybe she just needs it”? Or do I nullify that thought with “if you can’t afford it why would you buy arguable the most expensive razors on the market”? Where do you draw the line? If I let her get away with this who is to say she won’t steal something else, and isn’t theft the gateway crime into murder… ok that part was dramatic, but really she is a little crazy.
I’m open to opinions and I’d love to read your comments. And I’ll mention this last comment on the topic. Sometimes it’s not the situation itself that makes it bad, but the person who faulted you. Those people that you just don’t like out of principle and if they do something to you – it’s 10 times worse than if your best friend did the same thing. At which point, I have to ask myself and my reader to assess if the situation itself is worthy of any further discussion OR if I should just count my blessings that if this is the worse robbery I’ve been involved with to date (besides Caesar Diaz) –then I should be thankful. What do you think? PS. Thou shall not steal… it’s a commandment ya know.
ANYHOO – stealing. Not ok. I’ll get to the point. I recently purchased razor blades for my Intuition razor (which if you buy these you know they are a pretty penny) and they come in packs of 4 refills. I immediately installed 1 into my razor and when I was in the shower the next day I noticed I only had 2 left. NOW, here’s the clincher – there is only one other person that I live with that shaves with these razors. So I’ve decided it’s either 1 of 2 scenarios. Firstly, I have a magical little fairy that steals razors so she can shave her hairy little legs OR my roommate has stolen my razor. Does she deserve to have her hand cut off? Yes… but not for that reason (fyi: she has increasingly made my life difficult with her antics). I do think she should have to pay me for the $2.87 (unit price of the razor blade) for its replacement.
While we’re playing this game of ‘who stole the cookie from the cookie jar’ (the ghettofied, Intuition Razor blade edition) I would like to eliminate the other suspects… Kitty: 13- year young, grey and white tabby, who both sleeps all day and lacks thumbs to do the deed. Roommate Number 2: who uses a Venus razor blade – and also has not been known to steal. Roommate Number 3: Venus razor blade user as well and understands my boundaries with borrowing and sharing personal items. All suspects have been questioned and none have recently posted an Intuition razor blade on ebay.com. Now that I’ve proven this first roommate is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt, what do I do?
And here is where my question comes in. Do I approach her with this accusation and ask for my $2.87 or razor blade replacement? Should I let this go – and say, “maybe she just needs it”? Or do I nullify that thought with “if you can’t afford it why would you buy arguable the most expensive razors on the market”? Where do you draw the line? If I let her get away with this who is to say she won’t steal something else, and isn’t theft the gateway crime into murder… ok that part was dramatic, but really she is a little crazy.
I’m open to opinions and I’d love to read your comments. And I’ll mention this last comment on the topic. Sometimes it’s not the situation itself that makes it bad, but the person who faulted you. Those people that you just don’t like out of principle and if they do something to you – it’s 10 times worse than if your best friend did the same thing. At which point, I have to ask myself and my reader to assess if the situation itself is worthy of any further discussion OR if I should just count my blessings that if this is the worse robbery I’ve been involved with to date (besides Caesar Diaz) –then I should be thankful. What do you think? PS. Thou shall not steal… it’s a commandment ya know.
Friday, April 9, 2010
What's for dinner?... neck bones and sauerkraut!
I really don't like neck bones or sauerkraut BUT wouldn't you know, that's what my Grammy made the first night I was home! I have this love for the South (with a capital S) that I just can't explain. What's even more uncanny is that my niece has picked up a slight southern twang and hasn't step one foot in the South. It's something cultural, certainly a way of life.
I have been know to say things like "dag, aw shucks now... etc" when I'm excited. However, I would like to make clear that I do not use such phrases as "righbackround 'dere" or "this is smaller than turtle balls" or my favorite "these gas prices are higher than a camel's booty". It's just amazing -- the warm comfort food with the abundant use of bacon grease and butter, I feel right at home.
And that makes me think, does tradition and culture make you feel at home and not the hometown itself? If these same traditions were to live in say DC, would it feel any different? OR does a best friend asking if Dennis is spelled with two Ns signify a good time at home!?
I have to say, going for a run around my old high school and tripping over familiar cracks in the sidewalk gives a sense of something that is irreplacable in a new city. So I guess my new home includes a run down riverside tripping over familiar crackHEADS and running pass horse poo in Central Park.
Don't get me wrong. I heart NY... it's by far one of the most interesting and liberating places I've ever lived. It's not the literally space that makes something feel like home, it's the people in that space. When my best friend came to visit NYC (yes the same one mentioned in the above) she feels like home to me and going out made the city feel like home. Friends and family from home are an embodiment of your past and bring out the person you are as your purest self. However, I've certainly met some people that I didn't grow up with that give me a sense of support, love and encouragement.
I'm thankful for all those that have come into my life (short term, or those here to stay). But more importantly I'm glad I've found people and blessed with the family I have that let me be myself and love me for who I am. AND they read my blog :)
Ya'll come back now ya hear... more things to say more entries to blog.
I have been know to say things like "dag, aw shucks now... etc" when I'm excited. However, I would like to make clear that I do not use such phrases as "righbackround 'dere" or "this is smaller than turtle balls" or my favorite "these gas prices are higher than a camel's booty". It's just amazing -- the warm comfort food with the abundant use of bacon grease and butter, I feel right at home.
And that makes me think, does tradition and culture make you feel at home and not the hometown itself? If these same traditions were to live in say DC, would it feel any different? OR does a best friend asking if Dennis is spelled with two Ns signify a good time at home!?
I have to say, going for a run around my old high school and tripping over familiar cracks in the sidewalk gives a sense of something that is irreplacable in a new city. So I guess my new home includes a run down riverside tripping over familiar crackHEADS and running pass horse poo in Central Park.
Don't get me wrong. I heart NY... it's by far one of the most interesting and liberating places I've ever lived. It's not the literally space that makes something feel like home, it's the people in that space. When my best friend came to visit NYC (yes the same one mentioned in the above) she feels like home to me and going out made the city feel like home. Friends and family from home are an embodiment of your past and bring out the person you are as your purest self. However, I've certainly met some people that I didn't grow up with that give me a sense of support, love and encouragement.
I'm thankful for all those that have come into my life (short term, or those here to stay). But more importantly I'm glad I've found people and blessed with the family I have that let me be myself and love me for who I am. AND they read my blog :)
Ya'll come back now ya hear... more things to say more entries to blog.
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