The Girl: A Complicated Character

So, I'm on the fence ... I hear Girls is one of the best shows on television today. And, that Girls is the equivalent of watching a novel unfold before your very eyes on screen. All because, the characters created are confused, irrational and undeniably complicated. Admittedly, I watched just the first episode and I didn't get into it. It's like when an editor says that a book needs to hook 'em within the first page -- it just didn't happen for me. So, I chose to sit on the other side of the fence while everyone raves about this show and how great it is that girls are finally personified on television as the complicated creatures we are.
Guys are saying, "it's funny because girls really do all these things." But, you would have thought someone actually figured us out - but instead, it sounds like we've given another media to convey and contribute mixed messages on the aspects of being "girly." So for me, why watch the show? I spend every day ruminating, complaining about my weight, saying awkward things - so for a show to just remind me of all the things that I do ... eh, not thrilled about it.

Then again, it's like a best seller; of course you want to read it to see what all the hype is about. So I think about climbing over the fence again and watching more episodes to see if I can fall in love with someone who might be just like me. However, as a true lover of fiction, I believe novels, and television series that aspire to be such, should visually represent situations that are realistic enough to be unattainable to a degree as the reader/watcher. Like, when Sex and The City first aired, sure it might be possible Carrie scored a rent controlled apartment on the upper east side, but the reality of a girl in her twenties coming to New York and finding a studio within your price range as a start out freelance writer... slim to none.  However, this show Girls in all the critiques and public opinion manifestos that I've read and heard, claim that this show is real. The situations and awkward interactions depicted in the span of an hour are within moments of happening in real life.

I guess it's a matter of preference. Do you like to watch shows that entertain for the sake of vicarious living? Or a portrait of society that keeps the blemishes and a pesky five pounds she's determined to lose?  In my opinion, this show is like tofu for me - I want so bad to like it, but I just don't.

PSA by a Hopeless Romantic

I was always taught you should date for love. Find that inexplicable feeling someone gives you that makes you lose yourself in him or her and eventually find a better version of yourself. However, on several occasions now, friends have confessed that they aren't looking for "love" in the former sense, but they are looking for a partner that makes sense for them financially and politically. Now, none my friends are in politics, however, I keep reading all of these articles and posts about how love is dying etc. ... and I'm wondering if they drank the Kool-Aid? Or are hopeless romantics like me an endangered species?

Take friend #1: attractive, educated, reasonable stable and looking for someone that can fit in his cookie cutter vision. Love optional.
Take friend #2: good looking, type-A, currently seeking higher education and looking for someone that appreciates the obvious offerings AND can match her current expectations +.

I've purposefully chosen one male and one female so I don't read comments about "well it's a girl thing" later :) Both individuals come from great families, are very educated and looking for partners. So it's not to say they can't recognize love. I've argued at nausea the reason love is important AND recommended they watch the Notebook a time or two.

Unfortunately, I think my friends have given up. They don't see a benefit in looking for someone that will give them that half-baked cookie feeling in lieu of being stable and satisfying a vision that might/or might not work fundamentally. Partially, our economy is to blame; everyone in my generation is grasping their wallets and looking for efficient and successful ways to accommodate their dreams in reality -- and this same strategy has been applied to match seeking.
As a complement to all the articles that dictate the overabundance of work in our lives and ridiculous imbalance of work and life of course we have problems taking time to get to know someone for who they are and who they can be in one's future.

Given the current social dynamics and obligations, perhaps us hopeless romantics are on the endangered species list...but we won't go down without a fight (or at least we won't forget to release a movie this summer to inspire summer love).

Unfair for whom?

The Un-Fair Campaign: A cry for help for those who are privileged

Has anyone else seen this campaign called the "Un-Fair Campaign"? It's an initiative from Minnesota that hopes to put a stop on white privilege by leveraging those "affected" by this unseen biased. Creatively, it's clear this was inspired by the NO H8 campaign (writing on the face), but I would challenge this group to notice that NO H8 was simple in its execution vs. paragraphs written on a variety of Caucasian participants.

The idea behind this campaign is interesting. It's an initiative calling attention to the unfair ADVANTAGES that white Americans receive. However, here's what's fundamentally convoluted: The target audience for this, presumably Americans, fall in one of these two categories (with/or without color). Most initiatives succeed because they leverage statistics that have negative effects on the target audience; therefore, if the majority of this target audience, according to the campaign stands to receive positive benefits where does the inspiration live?

Not only does this have a lack of inspiration, but the call to action is weak: "hey, pay attention to us we're not being discriminated against!" I do admire this group for finding a niche way of articulating a challenge in America's society; however, by contrary this campaign negatively embodies a struggle for power that is uniquely "colored" by race.

You'll see what I mean if this campaign succeeds. The success of this campaign can also prove in its mission to be a failure. Given this is an argument that can also be seen in a larger debate regarding racial politics (historically and to date) put to the forefront by men and women of color; one can argue if this succeeds NOW with a "white face" championing the cause, privilege is still upheld.  


Not to mention, ironically, you can donate to these privileged suffers; now, what's fair about that?

Oh how far you will go...

A marathon is my limit, but what can you honestly say is yours? Running is one of those things our bodies naturally excel in. It's one of our basic reactions to fear or trouble - fight or flight. A long distance race is nothing more than a flight from the fear of failing.  It's a strange dynamic I think, but it's one that I love. This weekend I finished my fourth marathon and I have to say this was my favorite so far and was one of those runs where I finished and thought, "this is why I do this." So what did I learn this year?

Run the race in thirds: the first third with your legs, the second with your mind and the third with your heart. 

With this in mind, this is a recap my run:

The first with my legs: 0-9miles
I started the run - of course - having to go to the bathroom. My biggest fear this race was having to stop and missing minutes towards my goal. So what happens mile 4 : I can't hold it. Do I just let it go? Fall into the categories of runners who pee on themselves? No. I can't bring myself to do it -- sacrifice your body is one thing, running 22 miles in your own pee -- quite another... So I stop at a port-a-potty with a short line. A girl is waiting, I ask her how long her friend will be and she informs me that she doesn't have to go. So glancing at my watch every 2 milliseconds, I'm pacing out of anxiety and distraction to prevent from peeing - then her friend comes out and her friend goes "well I'm here now, might as well".... Fuming staring at my watch contemplating publicly relieving myself I start to panic, my pace group is out of sight, 4:40 pace group draws near. I pace even more and two and a half minutes later she finally emerges... Sweet. 2.5 minutes I have to make up. So because this is the part of the race I use my legs, I do just that - I finish my business and sprint to catch up with the 4:25 pace group -- Mile 6 I'm back in the race.

The second leg with your head: 9-18
The middle miles are always the hardest, after 13 miles no one is really cheering you on and you start to notice the nuances of the natural group that forms around you running your pace. I had the church group behind me praying the rosary for 2 miles (one involving a hill); I had the man running in a suit, I had the woman presumably coughing up a hairball. I had to play this one smart otherwise this was going to drive me crazy. So I told myself: "run for 2 minutes hard and take 2 minutes to stride." If you know me I made up a song to the beat of my pace "push, push, push for two more minutes --" counting down until I was at 15 seconds, then I counted the seconds." Very distracted and currently oblivious of my surroundings (except for the hacking because I'll be damned if I get spit on) I pressed on saw mile 18 come and go and I'm in the home stretch.

The third leg with your heart: 18-26.2
Now, you get to mile 18 and you think GREAT I have under double digits to go. And then it registers ... uh I have 8 miles to go. Mile 22 I slow for water and in an unprecedented move I bring my leg up for a high knee stretch. The sheer pain that struck my body at that moment was enough for me to cry, but I had 4 miles left and I was NOT stopping and for sure wasn't going to go down for a leg cramp! So I kept going and pulled a move only saved for this last set - I picked a guy someone I knew would give me a challenge and it was a race to the finish.
Happily hearing my name as I sprinted (yes I did!!) across the finish - my amazing boyfriend was there waiting ready to hug me in probably my most sweaty state :)

So I've divulged some secrets here that worked for me - that day I ran my personal best clocking a 4:24. A marathon is my limit, but my goals are without boundaries.
So how far will YOU go? Everyone has their limits, but this question is one of will not of ability.