Fine Print

I normally stay away from food/restaurant/dining reviews primarily because I'm not a certified food/restaurant/dining critic, and sometimes you might just have to chalk up a bad experience to the restaurant having a bad day. However, this I needed to write about because I think it's a customer experience that people should be cautioned of.
This weekend I decided to try my first Groupon and go to a wine tasting with the bf. The wine was delicious and I even learned a few things that will make me pause before ordering my staple Pinot. We arrive to Giorgio's in good fashion (not my typical 15 minutes late) and the honeys and I sat down for what he likes to call "one of my adventures." To our right was a nice couple from Edison, NJ (who apparently had reservations for dinner at Top of the Rock following the tasting). To our left were a brother/sister looking pair, the brother (we'll call him) obnoxiously called out random facts about his personal wine journey and how he loves reds. Needless to say, he continuously got the side eye all night from most of the participants in the class.
10 wines, two types of cheese, salami, mini pizzas (called artisan - but resembled a cracker with red sauce) - the night was going well. Even our instructor,  a Bulgarian woman named, Maggie could be named mildly entertaining and outright funny 10 wines deep. Then we started to pack up to leave.
So here is where I need to derail slightly so that you have the full picture: Groupon offers an ironically named and yet informative section on each deal called "the fine print", in which they intend to claim all terms and conditions that could be defined as "the catch". Nothing in this fine print section mentioned "you might get bamboozled at this deal site...."
Back to the story - the honeys and I were leaving and Maggie approaches us with the bottle of wine promised in the deal in addition to a $9.00 tax and whatever gratuity we would like to add. Now, all this is understandable as Groupon specifies "tax not included" however, I have two points, 1. someone could have mentioned/reminded us of this before/during/after we sat down for the class and 2. four people left while we scrambled through our bags. When we reveal a $20.00 bill and ask for the change she becomes very insistent that gratuity isn't included and that she only has $10 bills, mind you, on a Saturday night. Now, since I've worked in a restaurant before I cannot explain to you the rarity that early on a Saturday night you run out of change for twenties. Not only does it risk the chance that people just won't tip you - it's just not very smart business. So while we're debating on the reality that she really didn't have change for the $10 she handed over, two more patrons that did the wine class walk out. Here's my gripe: in the 4 minutes that you bamboozled us $20.00, six people walked out without paying the tax OR gratuity and with a free-ninety-nine bottle of wine.
I'm not cheap, but I'm wondering - was that legit? Or were we just the lucky couple selected for the price increase?
And Dear Groupon, is this something you support... the duping of customers?

Dear Ol' UVA...

I needed some time to compile my thoughts and comments from my recent Homecoming visit to UVa - so for those of you who were looking for it. Here it is.
Homecoming weekend at Uva... Driving down I-95 onto Alderman, guided by the giant V and two sabers inked into the road we entered a place we called home for four years. It felt as though we entered a bubble. It was a cultural capsule where it seemed nothing had changed and yet coming from out of town, there was a solemn cloud that followed us, a gentle reminder that this wasn't the real world. It's clear after being in the workplace for two years, UVa was a utopia. You don't really have to deal with adult issues, all of the rent/utilities/billing were spoon fed to you, none of your interactions were multi-level (i.e. work relationships), people can wear cowboy boots and dresses and it's more of a dress code than a fashion faux-pas; oh and singing the Good Ol' Song made everyone feel like one happy community. No wonder we feel duped...I'm not the only person that looked blankly at a fax machine or another esoteric office tool and thought: why didn't I take a class for this? That's what we need a "Real Life 101" that teaches you how to: deal with taxes, office politics, weird roommates, missing landlords, rental agreements, real crime that can't be solved with the honor code... and the list goes on.
I can't decide if the shielding of the real world from the current Wahoos is just an extension of their childhood or the set up for the first of many rude awakenings they will experience in adulthood. For example: at UVa you can feasibly, work, party, study, eat healthy, stay fit, and get enough sleep to do it all again the next day. Guess what? In the real world the routine is sacrificed for things that are considered survival tactics - eating whatever you can find, sleeping when you can, and working for food and shelter. When we were on the Range before the football game, you could still see the flicker of innocence in the eyes of the undergrads, an age of believing and where ignorance is bliss.
It was a great weekend, but returning to grounds and looking at versions of myself pre-real world, was bittersweet. On one hand UVa is now a place we can never go back to without bringing in bias, on the other hand it was a nice reset button to know that in a world that is constantly changing there are some consistencies.

Return On Investments, relationship style

In business the ever-popular term Return On Investment (ROI) is almost always used in a question: What is my ROI with XYZ...?
When I hear this commonly over-used work abbreviation it makes me wonder, why shouldn't we evaluate our relationships on the same scale?
We all know you have to "put in work" when starting a relationship, but what if you put in too much and the relationship fails? Or what if you don't put in enough and your growth is minimized? OK, maybe I have work on the brain, but let me put this in context - AKA a story!

I have a friend; she's smart, successfully, cute, kind, and a little quiet. She carried on a relationship with a seemingly interesting male for several months. Time investment. She compromised her better judgment by engaging in late night meet ups. Investing in opportunities. She spent time ruminating and contemplating over each mixed signal, always hoping and considering the best-case scenario and ignoring the red flags. Bad investment... So when this not so awesome male figure ended up admitting to still being involved in a serious relationship with an old girlfriend and deemed himself emotionally unavailable, but anxious to keep her on his team, the relationship bank officially ruled: no growth or opportunity in this relationship, negative return on investment.
So what happens when you put in all this work and no benefits come of it? Is it no wonder relationships have transformed from courting to dating to sexting? Know what you're in for is today's mentality and it's all for the sake of saving your investment and energy for one person who really deserves it.  And no, this isn't something my friend expressed, these are situations that happen to everyone and unfortunately (or fortunately) the longer you are with someone leads you to a similar logical question of value or ROI: "is s/he worth it?". From a relationship perspective, begs a deeper answer from the heart and mind coming together to form a conscious decision. Often, the positive or negative answer to: if I give my all-will you be the one I love?
Similar to what I advised my friend, anyone who you feel is taking more than they can give is on the bottom part of the worth scale. Anyone that can try and make you feel less than YOU are worth doesn't deserve any investment, time- opportunity or quality. However, I do believe, there is a tendency to test to true value of a relationship. And there, comes a point in any relationships when we have to stop testing the worth and appreciate the value-otherwise you spend all your time analyzing the investment and never enjoying the benefits.

Dare You to Tell the Truth

Friday, I spent a night with the ladies. An uninterrupted night (well besides the usual Harlem soundtrack) with wine, catch up seshs and trading of advice/stories.
Without going into detail, there were two ladies in somewhat transitional points in relationships: meaning it was starting to go down that "not working" path. My personal philosophy is that when you can start to identify those points that are borderline breakup material, you should probably end it before you become even more disappointed. So as I was top lining these convos of the night for the seemingly uninterested bf, he exclaims: "don't you know you aren't suppose to give your friends real advice? Just let them do as they want and agree to whatever it is."
Another odd, surprisingly might be true exclamation from the honeys. So does that mean, no matter how much my girlfriend wants my opinion she really just wants me to tell her "go ahead girl, stay with him?" At what point do we become intrusive as a third party and disable that sounding board effect you have as a friend?
We all know girl code exists, but I don't remember reading a vow of silence being ingrained in the commandments. We're also getting to a point where we have or had substantial relationship learnings that are crucial to pass along - and that leads to the sometimes uninvited comments. I admit I have been on the other end of the receiving unprovoked comments and I didn't want to hear that mess. So I know I'm not the only one that does it, what do we do it? I've decided there are two things that create this convoluted situation of what can be called Girlfriend Feedback.
1. Women, as most of us know, are infamous for ruminating. A natural, innate process that allows us to analyze, critique and belabor incidences, ever after. Girl talk is the pinnacle of the information dump that's going through your head all those days in advance of girl night. So when you are there telling your girlfriends your heart and soul, you don't really want to develop a solution or, as we say in PR, decide on next steps.
The second point is, it's hard to do when you care about your friends and you don't want them to fall into your old footsteps - you talk until you're sure you've convinced them. However, in the end it's her life and her decision. Something that works for you might not work for her: ergo stay out of it and let her make her own choices.
So girl night part two will include less commentary and more listening - guess that's why you have two ears and only one mouth right? Stick to those proportions.