She is my friend!

I had a very interesting conversation with the bf this week. I've had more than one of my lady-friends claim they are down in the dumps because they are sans boyfriend and living in the city. Take note, Sex and the City might look fun and exciting, but when you are living one bad date after another - it takes its toll. You begin to question whether you are the Carrie of your friends ... or the Miranda.
But never fear - Miranda gets married (and then her husband cheats on her, but that's WAY later). Anyway this conversation with my honeys of what to do about my friends feeling a little less than depressed came to a shocking question.

When it comes to friendships, do boys care more about their friends than girls do?
We landed here because when it comes to happiness it wasn't the amount of friends or social life that was evaluated it was all about the relationship status. My bf pointed out that it doesn't matter to a boy so much that it effects how you feel about a whole city and its experience. At the end of the day, it truly is bros over ... well you know.
For girls, it seems no matter how many friends we have or how many pictures we take having a blast, if there is no man in the picture (literally and figuratively) then the memory of the good time becomes lost. Even those in less than desirable situations, like a boyfriend overseas or cross-country, any relationship is better than none... right?
On the other hand, boys look for situations to celebrate without their girlfriends. Trips to Vegas, "boys night out", you get it.  Let's face it when was the last time a male created his milestones around a woman/marriage...

This idea of friendship and the ever celebrated "sisterhood" that is suppose to be one of the strongest bonds in nature could quite possibly be contingent on a male relationship. Not to bring up fiction or movies, but even in these depictions, female relationships are stronger when a male partner is found or established. Then the sisterhood bond is complete - and although fiction, these are the standards and social norms that we've adopted.

What's even more interesting is the aftermath of a breakup. Women - look to their friends for support and continual male bashing of the former relationship. However, the girl's friends can't help but point out that her relationship was unhealthy due to the lack of attention she gave them in the duration and that she was totally consumed in their relationship (can we say jealous). Unless, the relationship was really unhealthy I haven't heard of guy friends complaining of this "lack of attention" to the brotherhood!

So at the end of the day, the sisterhood is really a question of friend or foe and coincidental timing on a girl's relationship status. No wonder there is no status update for friendships or connections of Facebook, because I imagine a lot of women would have an "it's complicated" status.

People You Meet in a Starbucks...

In Ohio! I ventured home last week for my brother's graduation. My sister had class so she dropped me off in Starbucks to "hang out" so that means I got a chance to catch up on my writing and put this together for you, my dear readers :)
Now, I arrived at Starbucks at about 8am on a Thursday, which in NYC means the grumpy caffeine addicted work crowd- in Shaker it means time for the coffee house groups to meet.
Sitting near the only outlet in the place, a 60 year old man named Alex sits down next to me and asked me what I was writing. I told him I'm catching up on my blog. He says, "well join our coffeehouse group today - you'll for sure find a story"; and oh boy did I. Meet the characters:
Alex a married 60 year old from the west side of Cleveland
Franny the former judge added in an opinion on just about everything
Neal the son of one of Jimmy Hoffa's lawyers told us a story about his car getting blown up in his garage
Al the oldest of the group (with a very nice rose garden apparently)
And then there was Sharon...
Now, Sharon was interesting she looked me up and down several times and then began her line of questioning.
S: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Me: "Yes"
S: "Does he tell you, you're pretty?"
Me: "Yes"
S: "Every day?"
Me: "uh...."
S: "He should tell you because trust me you can't be with an @$$*** for years and have children with him"
Me: "....Oh. Noted?"
What does one say to that?
Anyway, this caffeinated gossip group meets every morning before they venture off into their separate retired lives. Alex, the most loquacious, said he started the group just by sitting in Starbucks and asking different people what they were going to do that day. One by one, they each stayed to meet the others in the group and came back the next day for the "coffee talk". The day I listened in they paid their condolences to my generations (in terms of job opportunities), but noted that we still don't have it THAT bad, yet. Alex recalled a time in 1981-1983 when it was common to lose your job at least once during these years due to layoffs. He had to pay his girlfriend's rent for a while and he wasn't the only one in this situation. They laughed about columnist a little older than me comparing our hard times to theirs - they proclaimed,  "how could he possibly really know what it was like?" It's interesting to hear social commentary about a time when you weren't even a twinkle in your parent's eyes. Oh and of course I brought up Golden Girls and discovered my kindred spirits with the man named Al, who watches every night too (he confessed to me he thinks Betty White is hott).

So maybe it wasn't partying or celebrity-siting in New York, but I did get a little perk in my day! A Daily grind, where sipping is allowed, getting your drink extra hot and bringing the latest gossip is a requirement.