Good Fortune

The lottery - when exactly can I win that? Someone shared with me this article the other day about people under 30 who are multimillionaires and what they think about their new disposable income.  Oh and the article rightfully titled "What it's like to be loaded by 25" I begrudgingly opened the link ready to become extremely bitter and launch into the "why didn't I think of a software solution technology at 18" speech, which I've almost perfected. But, after reading this- the guy is actually not a tool. He wisely invests his money and pays himself a monthly salary to contribute to what he successfully qualifies as fun and worry-free activities, without dwindling away his intellectual property gains. Jealous, interested and consciously in a daily movement away from being able to relate to this article as I inch towards 26; I decided that the same logic for good fortune in money can be applied to relationships. Dumb luck? Or strategic planning? Action-oriented? Or passive believer?
My sister inspired this post when she challenged me to think that numbers and sequential paths have a role in relationships and fateful tryst. My sister asked me the other night if I believed there was magical number of people you have to date before you fatefully meet the one that's yours? Essentially, making a match ideally made in heaven in fact a resolute sequence of interactions that can be obtained with confidence, persistence and unwavering belief in the science of numbers...so basically a lottery?
A system of rotating matches, just waiting for someone else out there to carry the exact same sequence. If this is the case, than the allegiance to believing in love and the feeling that "this could be it" every time you enter into a new relationship has to trump every sense of doubt or disappointment.
Now, in the traditional sense from someone who doesn't play the NY Lottery, except in the occasional low point in life, I couldn't advise my sister that yes, there is a sequence of matches that you must meet, get to know and potentially end before you find what's destined to be yours.
Because just like gaining a substantial financial fortune, you could wish, hope and play numbers - or you can know what it's like to be loaded at 25. Meaning, create a strategic investment that will result in a worry-free and a simply fun love.

 The way one achieves good love fortune is to his/her discretion, if we use the lottery and the young millionaire as our analogous examples they are both rare and exceptional stories, right? So, where does the standard middle-class worker fit in the fortune pool...? I imagine in their case, the success of fortuitous love comes from daily work for trust and happiness. Just like with financial goals, that the 'happily ever after' always feels slightly out of reach, but enough motivation to know you can get there with a little hard work.
In any situation retirement is the ultimate goal - and for love that becomes marriage- the ability to lavish in one's earnings.

The New York Shoe Box

Also known as an apartment in Manhattan. I guess everyone would live here if it was affordable, since smelly subways and crazies walking next to you is appealing. I mean really and the real estate agents have to make a small fortune off of their so called "no fee" apartments. Some of the apartments I've seen are atrocious, but can you imagine - having two days to move and you start to convince yourself that you can share a bathroom in the hallway with two neighbors in a six floor walk up (yes those places exist and are on the market). Seriously, the rat infested apartments should be discounted since more than one thing is living there at a time -- what you think is a studio is really a three bedroom convert.
If you can't tell I'm having a moment - and I have a blog, why not merge the two :)
Welcome home:

Fine Print

I normally stay away from food/restaurant/dining reviews primarily because I'm not a certified food/restaurant/dining critic, and sometimes you might just have to chalk up a bad experience to the restaurant having a bad day. However, this I needed to write about because I think it's a customer experience that people should be cautioned of.
This weekend I decided to try my first Groupon and go to a wine tasting with the bf. The wine was delicious and I even learned a few things that will make me pause before ordering my staple Pinot. We arrive to Giorgio's in good fashion (not my typical 15 minutes late) and the honeys and I sat down for what he likes to call "one of my adventures." To our right was a nice couple from Edison, NJ (who apparently had reservations for dinner at Top of the Rock following the tasting). To our left were a brother/sister looking pair, the brother (we'll call him) obnoxiously called out random facts about his personal wine journey and how he loves reds. Needless to say, he continuously got the side eye all night from most of the participants in the class.
10 wines, two types of cheese, salami, mini pizzas (called artisan - but resembled a cracker with red sauce) - the night was going well. Even our instructor,  a Bulgarian woman named, Maggie could be named mildly entertaining and outright funny 10 wines deep. Then we started to pack up to leave.
So here is where I need to derail slightly so that you have the full picture: Groupon offers an ironically named and yet informative section on each deal called "the fine print", in which they intend to claim all terms and conditions that could be defined as "the catch". Nothing in this fine print section mentioned "you might get bamboozled at this deal site...."
Back to the story - the honeys and I were leaving and Maggie approaches us with the bottle of wine promised in the deal in addition to a $9.00 tax and whatever gratuity we would like to add. Now, all this is understandable as Groupon specifies "tax not included" however, I have two points, 1. someone could have mentioned/reminded us of this before/during/after we sat down for the class and 2. four people left while we scrambled through our bags. When we reveal a $20.00 bill and ask for the change she becomes very insistent that gratuity isn't included and that she only has $10 bills, mind you, on a Saturday night. Now, since I've worked in a restaurant before I cannot explain to you the rarity that early on a Saturday night you run out of change for twenties. Not only does it risk the chance that people just won't tip you - it's just not very smart business. So while we're debating on the reality that she really didn't have change for the $10 she handed over, two more patrons that did the wine class walk out. Here's my gripe: in the 4 minutes that you bamboozled us $20.00, six people walked out without paying the tax OR gratuity and with a free-ninety-nine bottle of wine.
I'm not cheap, but I'm wondering - was that legit? Or were we just the lucky couple selected for the price increase?
And Dear Groupon, is this something you support... the duping of customers?

Return On Investments, relationship style

In business the ever-popular term Return On Investment (ROI) is almost always used in a question: What is my ROI with XYZ...?
When I hear this commonly over-used work abbreviation it makes me wonder, why shouldn't we evaluate our relationships on the same scale?
We all know you have to "put in work" when starting a relationship, but what if you put in too much and the relationship fails? Or what if you don't put in enough and your growth is minimized? OK, maybe I have work on the brain, but let me put this in context - AKA a story!

I have a friend; she's smart, successfully, cute, kind, and a little quiet. She carried on a relationship with a seemingly interesting male for several months. Time investment. She compromised her better judgment by engaging in late night meet ups. Investing in opportunities. She spent time ruminating and contemplating over each mixed signal, always hoping and considering the best-case scenario and ignoring the red flags. Bad investment... So when this not so awesome male figure ended up admitting to still being involved in a serious relationship with an old girlfriend and deemed himself emotionally unavailable, but anxious to keep her on his team, the relationship bank officially ruled: no growth or opportunity in this relationship, negative return on investment.
So what happens when you put in all this work and no benefits come of it? Is it no wonder relationships have transformed from courting to dating to sexting? Know what you're in for is today's mentality and it's all for the sake of saving your investment and energy for one person who really deserves it.  And no, this isn't something my friend expressed, these are situations that happen to everyone and unfortunately (or fortunately) the longer you are with someone leads you to a similar logical question of value or ROI: "is s/he worth it?". From a relationship perspective, begs a deeper answer from the heart and mind coming together to form a conscious decision. Often, the positive or negative answer to: if I give my all-will you be the one I love?
Similar to what I advised my friend, anyone who you feel is taking more than they can give is on the bottom part of the worth scale. Anyone that can try and make you feel less than YOU are worth doesn't deserve any investment, time- opportunity or quality. However, I do believe, there is a tendency to test to true value of a relationship. And there, comes a point in any relationships when we have to stop testing the worth and appreciate the value-otherwise you spend all your time analyzing the investment and never enjoying the benefits.

Generation Y are we waiting?

I've noticed a trend in my friends and fellow peers - we're all just waiting. We're holding on to the carpe diem attitude - but it's for tomorrow. We are the most structured and imaginative generation to date. In terms of structure, we're reared to follow a path - school, college, job experience, money, balanced life, family. If someone veers off course they risk extreme disappointment or threat of missing one of these society-created grandiose milestones. And for women we worry about the timer we've self-imposed at each of the stations of life as if you stay too long you risk missing the next. Example: If a woman works hard,  she might make it to the "money" stage, but stay there basking in her dollars and career choices she forgoes a balanced life and family. May not be right - but it's what my ladies think.
For the imaginative - it's an effect of the MLK dream speech - we have a dream that one day BLANK... and you believe you can make it happen, but the drive and motivation to make it happen lacks in structure.
So you have a system of beliefs and beliefs without a system - and that's my generation.
This has resulted in a bunch of stressed and anxious individuals, a slump in cultural movement, we've been coined as the least active generation - generation y bother.
It's also created an ambitious group that has been told all their lives they can do and be whatever they want. Naturally, this creates a monster. We have lots of people thinking they are experts with two years experience and an untamed confidence that crashes when burned. Frankly, the only thing we are experts in is understand what we can be, but what does that do for everyone else who is living in the present? We're worried we won't make the right decision or we easily give in when different lines in the sand are drawn - but that's us and we'll run world some day soon, just not today but count on tomorrow.

How much is that worth?

First I would like to say I appreciate a solid ad campaign as much as the next writer, but Mastercard your priceless-ness is becoming affordable. How can a person living in New York miss the ad campaign painting the subway and bus stations asking consumers to "sign up for a priceless New York experience". At its beginning,  the ad campaign had what Malcolm Gladwell would call 'stickiness'; the ability for culture to pick up a concept or fad and embed it into society as a way of life, but frankly times have changed and anything built with adhesive can fall off with the heat from the next hot slogan.

Maybe it's the whole process of becoming an adult, but I've learned everything costs something. The most sacred relationships can be torn apart by monetary value. It makes you think, what are you worth to someone? Do you ever turn down an expensive dinner or drinks out because it's the end of the month or pay day is too far away, and you think "it's not worth it". To give kudos to the ad campaign, these moments are priceless -- put it on your Mastercard!

Unfortunately, people and credit cards have limits. People are considered valuable by the contribution we can offer. Additionally, since we are also a comparative culture you can always find value in how the person measures up relative to something else. Even a relationship is subject to this price branding. Love is the eternal supply and demand example. If you give someone all your love and the demand for it isn't there, you lose. And the reverse rings true -- if you demand love from someone and they don't have enough to give you, you lose. Is there a 401-K for love? The love with a spouse, love one, sibling or parent ... Can you store all the love that you have with someone in the event you have a falling out? In which case you'll have a fund that you can draw from stocked with memories and evidence of that once solid love? Now that would be something to invest in!

Speaking of investments Mastercard, I beg you let the ad giant come up with something new for you in regards to a new ad campaign ... Use the promotion of giving away a priceless experiences in New York as a PR initiative. I'm surprised there wasn't a change in direction especially with today people are putting a price on anything! Unfortunately, nothing is priceless but maybe you could take a spin on the priceless concept, and tell consumers : Yes. It's worth it.